TLE works because people are willing to be candid about the hard parts of leading. That only happens when everyone trusts the room. These guidelines exist to protect that trust — nothing here should be a surprise to anyone acting in good faith.
Why we have this
We're a cross-company group of CTOs, team leads, and new managers. People bring real situations here — comp, performance, layoffs, burnout, conflicts with their own leadership — that they often can't raise inside their own org.
For that to work, the space has to feel safe and stay useful. This code sets the baseline so members know what to expect from each other and from the people who run the group.
Keep it confidential
What's shared in TLE stays in TLE. Treat every conversation as off the record unless the person who shared it says otherwise.
- Don't repeat specifics — names, companies, numbers, or identifying details — outside the group.
- Don't screenshot or forward messages to people who aren't members.
- Share the lesson, not the source. It's fine to take what you learned back to your own team; just leave the attribution behind.
Rule of thumb: if repeating something could get a member in trouble at their job, don't repeat it.
Be respectful, keep it safe
Disagree with ideas, not with people. Strong opinions are welcome; making someone feel unwelcome is not.
- No harassment or discrimination of any kind — including on the basis of race, gender, sexuality, religion, age, disability, or background.
- No personal attacks, pile-ons, or bad-faith arguing. Assume the best of the person on the other side of the thread.
- Make space. Speak up, but notice how much room you're taking and leave space for quieter voices and different experiences.
Give honest, good-faith advice
The value here is real experience, not performance. When you weigh in, speak from what you've actually seen.
- Say what worked and what didn't — the misses are often more useful than the wins.
- Be clear about what's opinion vs. experience so people can weigh it accordingly.
- Skip the hot takes you wouldn't stand behind if your name were on them. Here, it is.
Don't sell, spam, or poach
TLE isn't a lead list or a recruiting channel. Members should never feel like they're being worked.
- No unsolicited pitching of products, services, or your own content.
- No cold recruiting or poaching off the back of who's in the group.
- Tools and job leads are welcome only when someone's genuinely asking for them — share to help, not to promote.
Stay on topic and read the room
Keep threads about leadership and the craft of managing teams. A little off-topic is human; a channel full of it isn't.
- Use the right channel for the conversation, and search before starting a new thread.
- Keep heated topics constructive — politics and the like are fine only insofar as they bear on the work, and only if kept civil.
- Assume good intent and give people the benefit of the doubt before reacting.
Reporting & enforcement
Admins can't read every message. If you see something that crosses a line, tell us — quietly is fine. We take every report seriously and protect the person who raised it.
A quiet word
For most first-time, good-faith slips, an admin will reach out privately to explain the issue and what to change.
A formal warning
If it continues, you'll get a clear warning. We'd much rather see a change in behavior than lose a member.
Removal
A second strike, or a serious breach — harassment, threats, leaking confidential details — means leaving the group, sometimes without a prior warning.
Admins have final say. For egregious behavior, we reserve the right to remove someone immediately and without discussion, to protect the rest of the group.
Your agreement
By joining TLE you agree to follow this code, and to help keep the space the kind of place you'd want to ask a hard question in. We review these guidelines periodically and will let members know if anything meaningful changes.
Questions about any of this? Ask an admin in the group — we're happy to talk it through.